[Scene Two : Inside Hero's Spaceship.  Pan from floor full of beer cans
and beer bottles and food wrappers covering a floor whose major occupant
is a large Igloo cooler with writing on the side.  Pan up to two bodies
sprawled in front seats.  Hero's ALWAYS hold a beer in left hand no
matter what! ). Bib is on left side, Doog is on right side.  Both are
"asleep" and try for more comfortable positions in chair.  Suddenly box
on console ( labled Communicator and with 100watt lightbulb on top ) starts
to beep and flash.  When Bib and Doog don't wake up, starts to beep LOUDLY
and flash.  Bib wakes up, and sits up... ]

  Bib : Doog, wake up and answer the bloody phone!
  Doog : Take off.
    [ Doog comes groggily awake. Immediatly sips from beer, finding it
    empty, tosses it to floor and grabs another beer from cooler.  Bib
    notices beer in hand and takes sip, finding it empty also, takes beer
    from Doog who trys to sip from now empty hand ].
  Doog : Wow... I just drank a beer... bottle and all!
    [ grabs another beer ]
    [ Alarm starts flashing again and is louder then before ]
  Bib : Alright, I'll answer it...
    [ Hits large button on communicator]
  Bib : Hullo, Bib and Doog Professional Android Hunters.  Android out
       of whack, give us some beer and will break it's back.
    [ Screen lights up above console displaying face ]
  Face : Bib, Doog, I am General Fletchette of the Galactic Space
         Marines.
  Bib&Doog : So?
  Face : An android just destroyed the planet of the Nubile Young
         Stewardesses.
  Bib&Doog : So?
  Face : So?  SO?  An android just destroyed a planet and all you can
         say is SO?
  Doog : They didn't allow Beer on their planet...
  Bib : And they wouldn't let us wear our tukes... [ points at hat ]
    [ Face turns to talk to someone off screen ]
  Face : Are you sure there isn't someone else. [pause]  What about Rick
         Drunkard?  [pause] Oh, he's still shacked up with that Android.
         What about Luck Skywalker?  [pause] Oh, thats right... he's not low
         budget anymore. What about Athollo and Star Doe from the
         BattleSun Pangalactica? [pause] Oh, right, they were cancelled.
    [ Face turns back to face Bib and Doog ]
  Face : Bib, Doog, unfortunatly you are our only hope.  A hidious
         android under command of the evil Professor Master, has destroyed
         the Planet of the Nubile Young Stewardesses.  It is now
         underway to the planet Earth of the Sol system.  You must go
         there and destroy the Android before it is able to kill
         everyone who carries the Transtitule genetitic code. After it
         destroys all the carriers, it will destroy the planet and we
         will be unable to stop Professors Master's evil plan to enslave
         the universe.
    [ Bib and Doog have perplexed look on faces ]
  Doog : Who would be dumb enough to name their planet dirt?
  Bib : Yeah, why name your planet dirt?
  Face : Well, what would YOU name a planet?
  Bib : I've always wanted to name a planet Hopps
  Doog : And put it in the Fermented Star System
  Bib&Doog : [look at each other] Awesum!
  Face : [looking 'up'] Why them? [Looking at Bib&Doog]  The coordinates
         for the planet Earth have been fed to your onboard computer.
  Bib : Uh-huh
  Face : Gentleman, good luck.  The fate of the galaxy is in your hands.
  Doog : [holding up beer bottle] How'd you fit that in a beer bottle?
    [ Display on communicator starts to pull back.  Face is attached to
    torso in "uniform" decked with tons of honors and other hardware.
    Display pans back more to reveal legs of torso clad in burmuda
    shorts and sandles ]
  Face : [To someone to side of screen] We're doomed...
         [Display clicks off ]
  Bib : Well Doog, should we go to earth?
  Doog : Do they have beer?
  Bib : I dunno, lets check the computer...
    [ Flips switch.  Another display screen lights up displaying the
    words "Don't Panic". ]
  Bib : Computer, whaddaya know about the planet Earth?
  Computer : Searching... Searching...  Searching...
  Doog : Computer, try Dirt...
  Computer : Searching, located... Planet Dirt also known as Earth.
  Bib : Okay, what do you know about it?
  Computer : Harmless.
  Bib : Is that it?  Just Harmless?
  Computer : Sorry, MOSTLY Harmless.
  Bib : MOSTLY HARMLESS?  [drinks rest of beer]
  Doog : Computer, do they have beer?
  Computer : Searching...  Located, The inhabitants of the planet Dirt
             do have beer...
  Doog : Yippee.. another type of beer to try.
  Computer : I wasn't finished...
  Doog : Sorry..
  Computer : Apology accepted..  The inhabitants of the planet Dirt do
             have beer, in fact there are over 2000 different kinds of
             beer...
  Bib&Doog : [looking at each other amazed] two-thousand different
             kinds..
  Computer : [louder] 2000 DIFFERENT KINDS OF BEER along with hundreds
            of kinds of ale, hundreds of kinds of Lager, and something
            else called The Beast which is listed as a beer subsitute.
  Bib&Doog : [Still looking at each other] two-thousand different
             kinds...
  Bib :  Computer, set course for planet Dirt...  Doog, buckle your
         safety harness.. were going to earth...
    [ Doog scrambles to fasten belt. Computer screen displays course set. ]
  Computer : Course Set...
  Bib : Engage Warpdrive
  Doog : Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiitttttttt....

  [Fade to White... then to black]