I am trapped inside a dream that I cannot escape, that I do not want to 
escape.

I am in a garden, it is overcast yet vibrantly green.  Dampness clings to
everything and everything is seen in crystal detail.  The walkway is worn
grey stone leading through thorny roses and bushes showing attempts at
shaping in the recent past.  There is a birdbath filled but deserted, too
cold for birds today.  I don't sense any wind in this dream, the air is cold
and still breath hangs for a moment in the air.  The walkway winds through
this garden with seemingly no plan, occasionally branching to a sundial or
stone benches hidden in the growth.   Eventually it leads to a low stone
wall the same gray as the walkway.  An iron gate is open, beyond the wall is
more green, the green of trees.  The smell of this place is that light smell
of vegetation with a hint of flowers and herbs hanging in a crisp air as if
after a thunderstorm.  I get the feeling I am not alone, but I don't know
who is there.  I want to look but I am afraid that looking will break the
spell, that I will awaken from this dream.  I want to reach out, to hold a
hand, to continue the walk in this garden forever  

in this garden that doesn't exist 

with this peace I cannot have  

this place that I can only escape to for brief moments but that never lets
me go

1/20/09